Sunday, October 3, 2010


I have a brother. I have a brother that I don't know if he is dead or alive. We didn't have a fight or anything like that. In fact the last time I saw him was for a huge family celebration that he had come back into our lives. Alas he is gone again and none of us know where he is.
I miss my brother. I love my brother. There is a big hole in my heart where he should be.
My brother is a brilliant guy as it runs in the family. He created a great business for himself throughout the years and was quite successful. I was always so proud of him.
He played hockey as a youngster. He was a goalie and he was good. At one point he was on an NHL hockey team's farm team. He lived and breathed hockey his whole life. He played for 3 universities. He also played in the Western Hockey League for the Brandon Wheat Kings. 
He has published a few books on goaltending. Goaltenders Are Not Targets was his first. Off The Post was another.

My brother used to make hockey masks back in the day when they were not very fancy. He would make them in his basement and many a young goalie had one made. This is pretty old school but at the time they were impressive.

He was a hockey coach and ran his own goalie schools all over the world. He has even taught hockey in Japan. He had run local schools here and schools in Minnesota and Wisconsin. He coached in Florida too I think but by this time he was no longer in contact with us.
So what happens when someone in your family chooses to no longer be a part of your life?
What happens when we search for our ancestors and we have that one elusive person who we can't account for? Why did they remove themselves from the family? Were they asked to leave? Were they as missed as my brother is by all his siblings?  
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Lindy said...

Thanks for your very personal story. I also have a brother (my only "whole" sibling) who I do see but not often. I feel for you.

Michelle Robillard said...

Lori, My thoughts and prayers go out to you. I can truly relate. My younger brother was "missing" for 7 years. Long story short, I found him during the latter part of 2008 and he came "home" just as our father was going into hospice... Lot's of regrets on his part I'm sure.

Vicki said...

I feel for you, Lori. It is truly sad not to have contact with a sibling, or in your case, to not even know where he is. I hope you are reunited one day. My only sibling chooses not to have a relationship with me. Although I know where she is, all I can do is continue to reach out.

Free Genealogy Guide said...

I had an uncle who first stopped coming home to visit my grandparents. Then he stopped communicating with his siblings. The only clue anyone got about why was that he said it had been so long, he "just can't." It's very hard to understand.

Lori E said...

Update: I do know now that he is alive. I don't know where but all clues would indicate that he is doing fine.